In my previous post, “Libby’s Lifestyle FAQ,” I explained how I live in hotels in different places around the world. I received a couple of questions related to how I physically connect with my friends. I hope this post brings clarity.
My friends are important to me, and I love them dearly. I think about them and smile; I enjoy seeing their posts on Facebook; and I occasionally reach out to them via social media (I definitely need to do that more!). If we can arrange to meet up in person every few months, years, or sometimes decades, it’s a special and happy time. However, I don’t have a need to see my friends in person on a more regular basis. Why?
- My daily companionship needs are met. My husband brings me joy and comfort. We are completely honest and genuine with each other. We enjoy talking for hours every day, and we have tons of fun together! I also enjoy connecting with new people as I travel around.
- I’m extremely independent. I enjoy going out to eat, going to a show, traveling, reading, playing games, and taking long walks by myself. I often prefer being alone.
- It’s challenging for me to connect with people long-term. I know very few people who are similar to me. Because I’m constantly learning and gaining new perspectives, I am also continually changing.
The third point is something I’ve been dealing with more and more as time goes on. Long-term, people change. For example, I used to be a Christian, FOX news-watching, carnivorous, home owner who never travelled far from her home state of Texas. I’m quite the opposite now. Most of my friends are still religious, while I’m a passionate about my Atheism. Most of my friends still eat meat, while I care about animal rights and vegetarianism. Most of my friends have never lived in multiple countries around the world, so our life perspectives are quite different. Most of my friends have homes and cars, and they go shopping and run errands, while I’m a minimalist who lives a service lifestyle. Most of my friends watch sports and TV instead of having philosophical discussions about the nature of the universe and the ruling elite.
Of course I don’t need to have everything in common with my friends. It’s wonderful to share different views because we can learn from each other. However, most of my friends prefer not to hear about my Atheism and my vegetarianism. They don’t care to hear my views on animal rights and saving the environment. Most of them are not interested in my experiences living abroad or about my life philosophies. In a lot of cases, I feel like I don’t have the ability to express my true feelings and be my true self.
For example, I recently joined a group of female friends on a “girls’ weekend.” I enjoyed my time with them; we laughed a lot, and we had lots of fun at restaurants and casinos. However, I just stayed quiet during 95% of their conversations, which were primarily about shopping, driving, buying car insurance, wearing make-up, going to church, and what some celebrity was wearing, or what that celebrity said about someone else. My brain tends to tune out during these conversations. When they asked me a question, my responses usually invoked a blank stare and a change of topic.
With those kinds of experiences, I’ve gravitated toward being more of a loner these past couple of years. Maybe that will change one day.
Thoughts? Please let me know in the Comments section below.